Envisioning the 20’s

 

In a few months, I’ll be 21 and  9 more years from now I’ll hopefully be  thirty, flirty and thriving (courtesy of 13 going on 30). However,before this phase –  which I hope will signal a new and wonderful beginning in my life –  I have always had a vision for what I want my 20’s to be  and it does not include being  an overstressed, “never living in the present” and confused 20 years old.

The entirety of my  20’s  will most likely be filled the things I hope for the most, and that is to be happy, fulfilled and constantly pursuing personal growth. I want to be happy and living life to the fullest. However every time I try to  pump myself up, affirm myself that I can do it, that I can make the life I want to happen, something always gets in the way. It could be  school, work, finances , the weather ( and trust me  Canadian winters have the ability to kill your joy swiftly and without mercy).I have gotten tired of just dreaming and not doing, and I think many of us do this all the time. We forever wish away the present and find ourselves saying one day , maybe tomorrow, maybe next year I’ll have more confidence, I’ll start speaking my mind, I’ll follow my dreams etc.  While that day will undoubtedly come, those days too will become your present and you might find yourself- like I have recently – wishing it away  as well. 

For me, I’ve had enough!! seriously I won’t be in my 20’s forever, with each second I get a second older (tragic I know). However, growing old is only sad when you feel like you haven’t lived your life the way you want to. I still look back at high school and wonder why I let this or that person bother me, why did I care so much what people thought?,  why didn’t I stay on the track team when I wanted to ? and why did I let fear of rejection prevent me from running for student council?. I do not want my 20’s to be  like that, not at all and  I want to change this pattern.

My first steps to change  is small but it’s a start nonetheless,  and it involves making a vision board, a physical daily reminder of what I want my every day to be. Will every day be perfect? Nope, but more  often than not I hope that it’ll be a physical reminder of the mindset I need to have before I start my day every morning.   A vision board is not an attempt for me to  stare up at someone’s picture  or their Instagram perfect life and try to be that person, for me it is an inspiration to look introspectively and discover who I am and  who I want to be, then  go out with the mindset that’ll make it happen. I want to use my 20’s a time to learn and grow and unapologetically love myself and I think you should too.

Deb